Grieving Widows Matter
You Are Not Alone in This
A pastor, a grief companion, and a man who has walked alongside hundreds
of widows shares what he's learned about loss, faith, and how to find your way forward.
Ordained Pastor
Grief Recovery Facilitator
Bible Teacher
“I don't write as someone who has figured grief out. I write as someone who has sat with hundreds of women in the middle of it and been changed by every one of them.”
Pastor Howard
Pastor Howard
He has spent more than 45 years walking alongside people through some of life's most difficult seasons.
As an ordained pastor, Bible teacher, and leader of grief recovery groups for more than 15 years, he has helped hundreds of grieving people and developed a special passion for serving widows after the death of their husbands.
His ministry has taken him into hospital rooms, funeral homes, gravesides, living rooms, and the quiet moments when grief feels most overwhelming.
Through many conversations with grieving women, Howard has learned that most widows suffer longer than necessary, not because they are grieving incorrectly, but because they lack practical guidance, truthful encouragement, and permission to grieve honestly.
Howard's approach brings together three trusted sources of wisdom:
- The timeless truth of Scripture
- Proven principles of grief counseling
- Growing body of scientific research on how loss affects the brain, body, and emotions.
He believes these three perspectives work best together, offering widows both hope and practical tools for healing.
In addition to decades of ministry, Howard owned and operated a successful landscape business for nearly 25 years, giving him a practical, down-to-earth perspective that shapes everything he writes and teaches.
Through his ministry, Grieving Widows Matter, Howard writes for Christian widows, women of other faith traditions, and those with no spiritual background.
He wants every widow who reads his work to feel understood, less alone, and better equipped to navigate the difficult journey ahead with courage and hope.
"Grief is not a problem to be solved. It is a love story with no ending.
And you deserve someone who will sit with you in the middle of it."
— Pastor Howard Smith
45+ Years Walking Alongside Grief
200+
Widows Walked Alongside
Over 45 years of pastoral ministry, Howard has sat with more than 200 widows through the rawest, most disorienting season of their lives.
15+
Years Leading Grief
Support Groups
Howard has led GriefShare groups for over 15 years, bringing tested, research-backed grief support into community settings where real healing happens.
45+
Years in Pastoral Ministry
Ordained pastor. Stephen Ministry-trained. A lifetime of showing up for people in their hardest moments, and still showing up today.
Why I Do This Work
To Me, This Isn't Just a Ministry
I became a pastor because I wanted to help people. That part never surprised me. What surprised me was grief.
I thought I understood it. I had studied it, prayed through it, sat with it in hospital rooms and at gravesides. But it was the widows who taught me what loss really costs.
They came to our GriefShare groups exhausted. They sat down carrying things no one else in their lives knew how to carry with them. The loneliness. The second-guessing. The way people stopped calling after a few weeks because they assumed she was "doing better."
She wasn't doing better. She was just getting quieter about it.
I started Grieving Widows Matter because I believe every woman who has lost her husband deserves more than casseroles and well-meaning platitudes. She deserves someone who will tell her the truth about grief. Who will sit with her in the hard places. Who will point her toward real help, real hope, and real healing.
That's what this is. That's who I'm trying to be.
The Foundation
What Guides Everything I Write
Every piece of content on this site is built on three things held together.
Scripture, Honestly Applied
Not platitudes. Real passages, carefully and honestly applied to what widows are actually feeling — right now. Lament is welcome here. Doubt gets room here. The Bible meets her where she is, not where we wish she was.
The Science of Loss
Discover what your brain is doing right now. How your body is responding in real ways. When you understand why, you stop judging herself and start caring for yourself. Science is always presented in warm, non-clinical language here.
Proven Grief Counseling
Decades of clinical wisdom, brought into plain language. What licensed grief counselors know about loss, identity, and healing — made accessible to every woman who needs it. Never cold. Never academic. Always in service of helping her understand her own experience.
All Three, Always Together
You will never find just one of these on this site. Scripture and grief counseling and science work together — seamlessly, like one voice.
Because you don't need a theology lecture, then a counseling session, then a science class. You need someone who holds all three and just talks with you.
Who This Is For
Every Widow Is Welcome Here
This website was made for three groups of women. All three belong here.
Woman of Faith
You love Jesus and the Bible. You want Scripture woven in naturally, not performed. Faith is your anchor, and you need someone who will meet you there with honesty, not easy answers.
The Spiritual Seeker
You are spiritual but may not share Christian language. You are welcome here; don't feel like you need to adopt my faith. This is a space where your grief matters, no conditions attached.
The Woman Who Just Hurts
You may not be into spiritual matters, and that's okay. You're here because you lost your husband, and you need help. You will find no judgment here, only someone who takes your grief seriously.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
Start with the resources. Read the blog. Or go straight to the book series that
has helped widows find their footing again. Wherever you start, you are not starting alone.
Or reach Howard directly at howard@grievingwidowsmatter.com
