Widows: What Is “Normal Grief” After The Death of Your Husband?

By Howard

April 29, 2024

Normal Grief!

Those two words carry a weight heavier than you could ever imagine when you find yourself on a journey you didn't plan or want to go on.

A GRIEF JOURNEY!

Grieving Is Harder than You Imagined.

It's more than just tears and sadness; it's an intense and chaotic whirlwind that sweeps through every part of your life.

You wake up, and there it is, grief, still clinging to you like a shadow.

As you stand at the bathroom sink, toothbrush in hand, you realize you can't recall your neighbor's name again.

The Challenge

Is my Grief Normal?

Tears well up without warning, a constant reminder of the ache in your heart that refuses to ease.

Why is your grief experience harder than you imagined?

Because grief ultimately affects everything about you emotionallyphysically, psychologically, mentally, and spiritually.

It's as if you're walking through a fog, unable to grasp anything solid.

The question repeatedly arises, "Is this normal grief?"

You can't remember where you put your keys, struggle to concentrate, and sometimes forget how you made it home.

Amid this chaos, it's easy to feel like you're losing your mind.

You begin to wonder if your emotions are normal and if this level of disorganization and confusion is acceptable.

Your life feels complicated and chaotic, so instead of facing the chaos, you are tempted to avoid or hide what's happening to you.

You hide the pain to keep from bothering your friends and relatives.

Some bitter thoughts and bad attitudes continue to surface.

You feel like if you loved God, you wouldn't be experiencing such intense pain. You may even be angry with God, which is confusing.

You think you should be further along in your spiritual life. But having a strong faith does not mean you deny the hard things in life.

It's hard to believe, but the pain you are experiencing is normal.

Grief from the loss of your husband can be an all-consuming experience.

As days turn into weeks, you question how long this agony will last and if you'll ever find happiness again.


But amidst the turmoil, there is hope.


Understanding that you may not know what normal grief looks like — acknowledging its intensity and unpredictability—can be a beacon in the darkness.

It's okay to feel lost, to feel like you're drowning in a sea of emotions. You're not alone in your grief struggle.

One of the biggest myths about grief is that there's no wrong way to experience it. But the truth is, there are healthy ways to cope and unhealthy ways to avoid dealing with your grief.

You might find yourself hiding behind a facade of strength, burying your pain beneath Bible verses and platitudes.

But denying your grief prolongs the healing process.

What can you do until you find relief?

Lean into your grief. I know that seems counterintuitive, but it is the fastest way to work through the pain you are feeling from your grief.

Allow grief to take you where it will.

Learn from it.

Allow yourself to feel everything — the pain, the anger, the confusion—without judgment.

Postpone big decisions while allowing your emotions to return to normal.

It may not be the best time to sell your house, quit your job, or get married.

Some widows have done crazy things when they are experiencing the pain of grief. They don't realize that they won't always feel that way.

Giving yourself permission to grieve is essential.

Suppressing your emotions delays the inevitable; they'll find a way to surface, whether through outbursts of anger or crippling anxiety.

It's normal to feel like you're drowning in a sea of conflicting emotions, like you're pulled in a dozen different directions all at once.

But this tangled mess of feelings won't last forever. With time and patience, the storm will begin to subside.

But time alone isn't enough. Healing requires actively engaging with your grief, leaning into the pain rather than pushing it away.

It means allowing yourself to be vulnerable to ask for help when you need it most.

And in the midst of it all, remember, be gentle with yourself. Take each day as it comes, focusing on the next small step rather than the daunting journey ahead.

Whether it's something as simple as getting out of bed or reaching out to a friend for support, every action is a step toward healing.

You can learn to embrace your grief, knowing that it's a crucial part of your grief journey towards healing.

And remember, you're stronger than you realize, capable of weathering even the fiercest storms.

About the author

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