"But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me."
2 Timothy 4:17
There's probably a guest book somewhere in your house. Maybe it's on a closet shelf, tucked under a stack of sympathy cards. Pages of names from the funeral. People who drove for hours. People you hadn't seen in twenty years.
Some days you open it and wonder where they all went.
Most of them meant every word they wrote. But a guest book only records one afternoon. Grief lasts a lot longer than one afternoon.
I wonder if Paul ever thought about who signed his guest book.
In 2 Timothy 4, the apostle Paul is writing what may be his last letter. He's old, chained in a Roman prison, asking Timothy to bring his cloak and come before winter.
Then he names the empty chairs. Demas, "in love with this present world, has deserted me." Others have gone on to other places. "Luke alone is with me."
And when Paul stood in court to defend his life, "no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me."
If you've ever looked around a room and realized the people you counted on weren't there, Paul understands.
But he doesn't stop there.
"But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me."
2 Timothy 4:17
The Greek word for "stood by" is paristemi. It means to stand close beside someone, ready to help. Not watching from across the room. Right next to him.
Jesus knows the other side of this too. On the night He was arrested, Mark 14:50 says His closest friends "all left him and fled." He was left alone so that you would never have to be.
He doesn't stand beside you because you've earned it, or because you're handling grief well. He stands there because He loves you. Psalm 27:10 says it so tenderly: "For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in."
He is near.
Not just on the day of the funeral.
Not only when the house was full.
Now.
If you're still wondering who Jesus is, He isn't waiting for you to have it all figured out. You can read more about knowing Him here, whenever you're ready.
Try today
When the quiet settles in today, rest your hand on the empty chair beside you, or on that guest book, and simply say, "Lord, You're standing here." That's all. You don't have to feel it for it to be true.
If you're wondering why friends drift after a husband dies, and what can help, I wrote more about it in The phone stopped ringing: why widows lose friends and what helps.
The guest book holds one afternoon of names. But One was there that day who is still here tonight.
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, O abide with me.
Henry Francis Lyte, 1847
He stood by Paul.
He is standing by you.
Blessings, Pastor Howard
Know a widow who needs this today?
Sometimes the kindest thing is a quiet "I thought of you."
Who has stood by you, even in a small way?
A neighbor, a sister, a friend from church, or someone you never expected. Tell me in the comments below. I read every comment, and your words might help another widow feel less alone.