"Jesus wept."
John 11:35
Maybe someone has said it to you. Kindly, with a pat on the hand in the church foyer.
"He's with the Lord now. You shouldn't be so sad."
They meant to comfort you. But you walked to the car feeling worse, as if your tears were a report card on your faith, and you were failing.
Maybe you've wondered it yourself. If I really trusted God, wouldn't I cry less by now?
I wonder what that kind friend would do with the shortest verse in the Bible.
In John 11, Jesus arrives in Bethany four days after His friend Lazarus has died. Mary falls at His feet and says what so many widows have said in the dark:
"Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died."
John 11:32
Jesus doesn't correct her. He doesn't give her a talk about heaven. He asks where they've laid him. And then, "Jesus wept."
The Greek word is dakruō, to shed tears. It appears only this once in the whole New Testament. Quiet tears, running down His face.
Here's what stops me. Jesus knew what He was about to do. In a few minutes He would call Lazarus out of that tomb.
He wept anyway.
So your tears are not a lack of faith. The One with the most faith who ever lived stood at a grave and cried.
He wasn't weeping because He had no hope. He was the hope. He wept because death is wrong, and because He loved the people standing in front of Him. The crowd saw it right away: "See how he loved him!" John 11:36
Isaiah 53:3 calls Him "a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief." That means you are not crying alone.
He isn't standing over you with a stopwatch.
He's standing beside you.
Close enough to cry with you.
He didn't come to shame your grief. He came to carry it, all the way to a cross and out of an empty tomb. You don't have to earn that. You only have to let Him near.
Try today
The next time the tears come, at the kitchen sink or in the car or at 3 AM, don't apologize for them. Just say, "Jesus, You cried too." That's a whole prayer. Let Him sit with you in it.
So the next time someone pats your hand in the foyer, you'll know something they may have forgotten.
Tears and faith can sit in the same pew.
Can we find a friend so faithful,
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Joseph Scriven, 1855
Blessings, Pastor Howard
Know a widow who needs this today?
Sometimes the kindest thing is a quiet "I thought of you."
When do the tears catch you by surprise?
At the kitchen sink, in the car, in church, or somewhere only you would know. Tell me in the comments below. I read every comment, and your words might help another widow feel less alone.