"All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out."
John 6:37 (ESV)
Maybe the question came late one night, when the house was too quiet to sleep. Where is he now? Is there anything more than this? And if God is real, would He even want anything to do with me?
If you've spent any time on this website, you've noticed that I talk about God, about Jesus, and about the hope found in the Bible. Maybe you've wondered what it actually means to become a Christian, or to have a personal relationship with Jesus.
Is it joining a church? Being baptized? Living a good life? Trying harder to be a better person?
Grief has a way of bringing life's biggest questions to the surface. You don't have to be afraid of them.
Maybe you grew up in church and drifted away. Maybe you've never opened a Bible. Maybe you've believed for years, and losing your husband has shaken everything. Wherever you are, you're welcome here.
The Bible's answer to that question is both wonderfully simple and deeply life changing. Becoming a Christian is not about becoming religious. It's about beginning a personal relationship with Jesus, and through Him, with the God who created you and loves you.
Let me walk you through it, one honest step at a time.
01The problem
The problem we all share
The Bible teaches that every one of us has something in common. We have all sinned.
Sin is more than breaking a rule. It's living independently of God, putting our own desires ahead of His will, and falling short of the life He created us to live.
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
Romans 3:23 (ESV)
That verse includes every one of us. Pastors, church members, kind neighbors, generous people, and people who have never stepped inside a church. None of us measures up to God's perfect holiness.
Many people think God grades on a curve, that if our good deeds outweigh our bad ones, we'll be accepted into heaven. But the Bible never says that. It teaches that our greatest need is not to become better people. Our greatest need is to be forgiven.
02God's heart
God's amazing love
If the story ended there, it would be heartbreaking. But God did not leave us in our brokenness. Perhaps the most famous verse in all of Scripture shows His heart:
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."
John 3:16 (ESV)
Notice what moved God to act. It wasn't because we deserved His kindness. It wasn't because we had earned another chance. It was because He loved us. And that love led Him to do something extraordinary.
03The cross
Why Jesus came
Jesus Christ lived the only completely sinless life in history. He never disobeyed God, never acted selfishly, never committed a single sin. Yet He willingly went to the cross and died in our place.
"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
Romans 5:8 (ESV)
When Jesus died, He took on Himself the punishment our sins deserved. Three days later, He rose from the dead, proving that sin and death had been defeated.
His resurrection is the foundation of the Christian faith. It's the reason Christians can have hope even standing at a graveside. Death is real, and it hurts. But it is not the end of the story.
Keep reading: Somewhere in the middle: widow grief timeline
04The gift
You can't earn it
This may be the hardest truth for many of us to accept. We naturally think we have to do something to deserve God's acceptance. If we're sincere enough, generous enough, or religious enough, surely He'll welcome us.
But the Bible says salvation is a gift.
"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God."
Ephesians 2:8 (ESV)
The very next verse adds, "not a result of works, so that no one may boast" (Ephesians 2:9, ESV).
The word Paul uses for grace is the Greek charis. It means a gift freely given, kindness no one earned. That's the whole point. If you could earn it, it wouldn't be grace.
Imagine someone hands you an expensive gift. You don't work for it or pay it back. You simply receive it with gratitude. In the same way, forgiveness and eternal life are gifts God offers through Jesus Christ.
05Your response
So what do you do?
The Bible calls us to respond in faith. Faith is more than believing that Jesus existed. It's trusting Him personally, believing that His death on the cross was enough to pay for your sins and that His resurrection gives you eternal life.
The Bible also speaks of repentance. That word simply means a change of heart that leads to a change of direction. Instead of living life apart from God, you turn to Him, trusting Jesus as your Savior and following Him as your Lord.
"Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."
Romans 10:9 (ESV)
Just a few verses later, Paul adds a wonderful promise:
"For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."
Romans 10:13 (ESV)
That word everyone may be one of the most hopeful words in the Bible. God's invitation is open to every person, regardless of age, background, failures, or past mistakes. Including you. Including today.
06A new beginning
What happens when you trust Christ: a personal relationship with Jesus
When a person places her faith in Jesus Christ, the Bible says several wonderful things happen right away. Your sins are completely forgiven. You are welcomed into God's family as His beloved daughter. The Holy Spirit comes to live within you, helping you grow in your relationship with God. And you receive eternal life, not simply life that lasts forever, but a relationship with God that begins today and never ends.
That doesn't mean all your problems disappear. Christians still grieve. We still face illness, disappointment, and loss. Becoming a Christian is not a promise of an easy life. It's the promise that you will never face life, or death, alone.
If you're not ready yet
Read one short chapter of the Gospel of John each evening this week. Before you begin, you might simply say, "God, if You're there, show me who Jesus is." Then read slowly, and notice how He treats hurting people.
Keep reading: Too many pieces: why a widow's grief feels so unbearable
If you're ready
A prayer you can pray
Becoming a Christian is not about repeating certain words. No prayer has saving power by itself. God looks at the heart.
But if what you've read expresses what you truly believe, you can tell God something like this:
Father, I know I have sinned and cannot save myself. Thank You for loving me enough to send Jesus to die in my place. I believe He died for my sins and rose again. Today I place my trust in Him alone for forgiveness and eternal life. Please forgive me, make me Your child, and help me follow You from this day forward. Thank You for Your amazing grace. Amen.
One last thought
If you've recently lost your husband, this may not be the article you expected to read. But grief brings the biggest questions up from the deep. Is there more beyond this life? Can I know God? Will I ever feel hope again?
The good news of the Bible is that hope isn't found in trying harder or becoming more religious. Hope is found in a Person. Jesus understands suffering. He conquered death. He offers forgiveness freely. And He invites you to come to Him just as you are.
Wherever you are with this, whether you prayed those words for the first time just now or you're still sitting with the questions, that's alright. There's no rush here. The door stays open.
If you prayed that prayer, or if you have questions you'd rather ask privately, I'd be honored to hear from you. You can write to me at howard@grievingwidowsmatter.com.
A short video if you'd like to know more
Maybe you came here with that late night question, wondering if God could want anything to do with you. He does. He said so Himself: whoever comes to Him, He will never cast out. The door is open, and it stays open.
Blessings, Pastor Howard
Know a widow who needs this today?
Sometimes the kindest thing is a quiet "I thought of you."
What question has grief stirred up for you?
Maybe it's about heaven, or about God, or about whether faith can survive this. Tell me in the comments below. I read every comment, and your words might help another widow feel less alone.