"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin."
Hebrews 4:15
A friend stops by with a pie. She stands in the doorway, tilts her head, and says it kindly: "You seem to be doing so well."
You smile. You thank her for the pie. You don't mention that you cried in the laundry room an hour ago, or that some mornings you still take down two mugs.
How do you explain a whole world in a doorway? So you don't. She leaves feeling better. You close the door feeling a little more alone.
I wonder how many widows are smiling at the door and crying in the car.
The letter to the Hebrews was written to tired people. People who were worn down and tempted to quit. And right in the middle of it, the writer slips in this tender line about Jesus. He is able to sympathize with our weaknesses.
The Greek word is sumpatheō. It's built from two small words, with and suffer. To suffer with.
Jesus doesn't understand grief from a safe distance. In Matthew 26, on the night before the cross, He told His closest friends, "My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me." Then He went a little farther to pray. When He came back, they were asleep.
He knows what it's like when the people you love can't stay with you in it.
So here's what that means for you today.
You don't have to explain it to Him.
Not the laundry room.
Not the two mugs.
Not the things you can't even put into words for yourself.
He already knows. Jesus understands your grief, not because He read about it, but because He carried it.
Your friends love you, and some of them will learn. But no friend will ever understand all of it. That isn't a failure on their part or yours. It's simply more than any one person can hold. If you'd like help giving them words, you might share 7 things widows wish friends understood about grief.
Jesus can hold it. And He doesn't wait for you to be doing well before you come. The very next verse says we can "with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:16
Time of need. That's exactly where you are.
And if you've never really known Him, this is where the door opens. Right here, in the not okay. If you'd like to know more, here is what a personal relationship with Jesus really means.
Try today
Tell Him the thing you didn't say at the door. Just one sentence, out loud or in your heart. Something like, "Lord, I'm not doing as well as they think." Then sit with Him for one quiet minute. You don't have to fix anything. You're with Someone who understands.
Your friends may still say, "You seem to be doing so well." That's all right. Smile if you need to.
Then close the door, and remember there is One who never needs it explained.
Jesus knows all about our struggles,
He will guide till the day is done;
There's not a friend like the lowly Jesus,
No, not one! No, not one!
Johnson Oatman Jr., 1895
Blessings, Pastor Howard
Know a widow who needs this today?
Sometimes the kindest thing is a quiet "I thought of you."
What would you say at the door if you could?
One honest sentence is plenty. Tell me in the comments below. I read every comment, and your words might help another widow feel less alone.